Last night I was at a play and I kept getting these animalistic urges to yell. It was really quite unnerving. I might be a ham, an attention whore, and just loud in general, but I'm not crazy. Half the time I didn't even know the things that I was thinking when I caught myself in the conscious act of not yelling them. It felt like I was in a state of semi-control, and those parts of your brain where instinct hides were messing with me.
Today I was walking behind an old lady, and the same thing happened again. This time I caught myself wanting to yell "Hey, OLD LADY!" and just scare the shit out of her (probably literally). Again, I was surprised with myself. I've never had these urges before, and its actually quite scary. I'm afraid that one time I won't catch myself, and some innocent old lady will ruin her underwear.
If I was literally going to scare the shit out of someone, I would pick a baby or an old person, because they might be wearing a diaper anyway.
Reason Number 1,023 Why I Will Never Be A Famous Writer:
I can only articulate my thoughts in short guttural bursts of unintelligible shouting.
Showing posts with label ham. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ham. Show all posts
Thursday, February 28, 2008
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