The O.S.C.A.R.'s

If you read this blog, you'll know that very recently I discovered that Film is probably the most important thing ever created, the embodiment of the Meaning of Life, and most likely the manifestation of God him/her-self. I had an inkling of it, but it wasn't until I got swept up in the annual "Day of Days" hoopla, that i finally realized it.

This weekend at the holiest of holy places, The Kodak Theatre in Los Angeles, God will firmly place a finger on the head of 24 "winners" and deem them worthy of entering paradise. It's the O.S.C.A.R.'s, ladies and gentlemen! Or as I like to call them: The Ongoing Search for Christ's Ancestral Relatives. I don't want to go to into it, but in a rush to meet his deadline for revealing himself (without actually revealing himself) God botched the creation of the film projector and had to go with something else entirely - you know him as Jesus. Blah blah blah, we all know the rest.

ANYWAY, much like the traditions of Christmas and Easter, the O.S.C.A.R.'s has its own tradition that everyone can take part in. It's THE OSCAR PREDICTION BLOG! Perhaps the most hallowed of all religious practices, the O.S.C.A.R. Prediction Blog (OPB) allows the average joe to be Condescending, Self-Important AND Humble all at once! You didn't think it was possible, did you? Well, that's the power of Film.

And because I'm an average joe who LOVES being condescending and self-important, I'm going to be posting my own OPB later on today. You'll want to scrap any plans you have to read ANY other OPB's, because this one is going to the best. It's going to be Gospel.

Reason Number 76 Why I Will Never Be A Famous Writer:
I preach the truth, and the truth never gets recognized...until it's too late.

P.S. If you reeeeaaally want to read another OPB, you should check out Mikey Filmmaker's. He's supposedly been touched by God.